Pelvic Health Tips I Wish I Knew Sooner (From an Over-Kegeler)
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Time to read 8 min
My chronic gorilla grip went from a humble-bragging joke to just being humbled by pain.
Having a rock-hard vagina could only ever be a good thing, right?
Well, no, as it turned out.
I learned that pelvic floor health is so much more than strength — and that my nethers needed a chill pill.
Here’s why “Do Kegels whenever you’re bored while sitting down” isn’t the healthy habit I thought it was — from the perspective of someone who went way overboard with the super squeezes.
Table of Contents
Kegels don’t prevent (or solve) everything. A too-tense pelvic floor can cause all kinds of funky sensations. UTIs can make pelvic floor tension worse — which can raise the risk of UTIs. Whole-body health is pelvic floor health. Pelvic floor exercises are so much more than Kegels. You don’t know what you don’t know. Related Articles
Kegels don’t prevent (or solve) everything.
Understanding pelvic floor health is like a puzzle with many pieces. It involves not only strength but also mobility, timing, and coordination — a complex system that requires a holistic approach.
But strength happens to be the piece people are most aware of — perhaps because we were indoctrinated with the beliefs that:
A tight vagina feels good
Looseness is bad (and means something about who you are as a person)
You can strengthen (and tighten up) by squeezing or wearing vaginal weights
We’ve been warned about what can happen to the pelvic floor as we age if we don’t exercise to maintain strength, but how often are we told what happens if we flex frequently without intentionally relaxing ?
A too-tense pelvic floor can cause all kinds of funky sensations.
Pain on the vulva can show up in many different ways because of a hypertonic pelvic floor.
Sensations I experienced with my gorilla grip pelvic floor dysfunction included:
A stinging feeling on the vulva when sitting for long periods of time
Soreness along the labia majora
General aching in my lower abdomen
Cramping on one side of my vaginal walls
Kiwi by the Pelvic People helped me feel good while massaging those sore spots and trigger points on my hips.
Vibrating pelvic relaxation massager that makes progress feel good. Like, really good.
Sex isn’t always easy! And the vaginal opening is a sensitive place. If you’re experiencing a tight feeling, avoiding sex, or struggling with desire – you’re
not alone, my friend. Kiwi can help!
With science-backed features, Kiwi is designed for:
- Releasing tension (externally and internally with different massage ends)
- Shallow insertion (to slowly work toward what feels good)
- Clitoral stimulation (for blood flow + relaxation)
- Two motors with different frequencies (for a "buzzy" or "rumbly" vibe)
For other people with pelvic floor dysfunction, the tension can also feel like:
Stabbing or tearing sensations at the entrance during sex — which Kiwi can help with, too!
Issues with bowel movements
A perpetual UTI that may or may not be a UTI
“The quality of their pain can vary from a burning sensation to sharp, shooting, achy, cramping, ripping, or sometimes they will describe it as sitting on a rock or golf ball,“ said Rachel Gelman, PT, DPT, CSC.
UTIs can make pelvic floor tension worse — which can raise the risk of UTIs.
The discomfort of a UTI—the itching, the burning, the “gotta go” pressure—can be stressful and understandably cause one to tense up and be on guard.
But did you know that the link goes the other way, too?
Pelvic floor tension can compress the urethra and bladder, meaning you might:
Not be fully emptying when you pee — which gives bacteria more time to multiply inside the bladder and actually cause a UTI
Feel more internal pressure as your bladder fills up
Feel a burning sensation when you pee
“Due to the muscles’ proximity to the bladder, sometimes the brain mistakes pelvic floor tightness or spasms as the bladder being full and needing to pee,” said Dr. Gelman. And that can seem like a UTI , even when there isn’t active bacteria colonization.
“Sometimes muscles stay guarded after an infection has already resolved. They are still on red alert and worried that a threat still exists, so they remain in protective mode.”
Whole-body health is pelvic floor health.
Let’s say someone starts experiencing UTI-like irritation. It’s tempting to reach for the D-mannose or cranberry capsules and start guzzling water to flush it out.
While supplements and hydration may help if the problem is indeed a UTI (as can seeing your healthcare provider), pelvic health goes beyond that.
Seemingly small details in your everyday life can add up:
What’s your athletic history? Your pelvic floor can tense up to compensate for other muscles in your hips or core being too weak or tense.
How’s your breathing? Deep breaths strengthen coordination between the pelvic floor and the diaphragm’s movements. If your breathing is shallow, it can affect the timing of your pelvic floor’s relaxation and contraction.
Whole-body health is pelvic floor health.
Let’s say someone starts experiencing UTI-like irritation. It’s tempting to reach for the D-mannose or cranberry capsules and start guzzling water to flush it out.
While supplements and hydration may help if the problem is indeed a UTI (as can seeing your healthcare provider), pelvic health goes beyond that.
Seemingly small details in your everyday life can add up:
Whole-body health is pelvic floor health.
Let’s say someone starts experiencing UTI-like irritation. It’s tempting to reach for the D-mannose or cranberry capsules and start guzzling water to flush it out.
While supplements and hydration may help if the problem is indeed a UTI (as can seeing your healthcare provider), pelvic health goes beyond that.
Seemingly small details in your everyday life can add up:
What’s your athletic history? Your pelvic floor can tense up to compensate for other muscles in your hips or core being too weak or tense.
How’s your breathing? Deep breaths strengthen coordination between the pelvic floor and the diaphragm’s movements. If your breathing is shallow, it can affect the timing of your pelvic floor’s relaxation and contraction.
Are you managing your stress in nourishing ways? Are you making time for pleasure? Stress upregulates the “fight or flight” response, adding to tension and limiting your breaths’ depth. Conversely, finding ways to feel good reminds your body that you are safe.
Your hip flexors, abductors, adductors, glutes, quads, and core connect to the pelvic floor, so expanding your scope to move it in all kinds of ways will also help your pelvic floor feel better.
What’s your athletic history? Your pelvic floor can tense up to compensate for other muscles in your hips or core being too weak or tense.
How’s your breathing? Deep breaths strengthen coordination between the pelvic floor and the diaphragm’s movements. If your breathing is shallow, it can affect the timing of your pelvic floor’s relaxation and contraction.
Are you managing your stress in nourishing ways? Are you making time for pleasure? Stress upregulates the “fight or flight” response, adding to tension and limiting your breaths’ depth. Conversely, finding ways to feel good reminds your body that you are safe.
Your hip flexors, abductors, adductors, glutes, quads, and core connect to the pelvic floor, so expanding your scope to move it in all kinds of ways will also help your pelvic floor feel better.
Are you managing your stress in nourishing ways? Are you making time for pleasure? Stress upregulates the “fight or flight” response, adding to tension and limiting your breaths’ depth. Conversely, finding ways to feel good reminds your body that you are safe.
Your hip flexors, abductors, adductors, glutes, quads, and core connect to the pelvic floor, so expanding your scope to move it in all kinds of ways will also help your pelvic floor feel better.
Pelvic floor exercises are so much more than Kegels.
Kegels at varying tempos are just one way to engage your pelvic floor.
Exercise for different facets of pelvic floor health can include (but are not limited to):
Flexibility - yin yoga with long, stretchy holds and slow breaths (though, if you have a hypermobility disorder such as hEDS or HSD, holding stretches for a long period of time at the end-range may not be right for you)
Strength training with a focus on exhaling and squeezing the pelvic floor while exerting and inhaling while relaxing (in fact, as an important stabilizing and anticipatory group of muscles, the pelvic floor often is already doing this when you lift)
Coordination - low-impact cardio, tai chi with breath focus (see a pattern here?), and belly dance
Of course, not every type of movement is for everybody, depending on their pelvic floor concerns.
Kegels might be unnecessary or even counterproductive in your situation, so I recommend talking to a pelvic floor therapist about a personalized care plan. They might make adjustments like:
Breaks to stretch between sets of strengthening exercises
Taking your time cooling down
Using a ball or foam roller for myofascial release afterward
I like lowering my weight onto Kiwi like someone would a massage ball
Your pelvic floor's new besties:
You don’t know what you don’t know.
Here’s a shout-out to Nicole Guappone , another writer for Just the Tip. Thanks to her, I learned that pelvic floor hypertonicity can be a problem and that Kegels can make it worse.
But I didn’t know that:
I had high tension at rest
That could be a common cause behind both actual UTIs and similar sensations
There’s way more to pelvic health than contraction and dilation
(My partners and) I knew I had no problem squeezing hard, long, or relaxing.
But what do you mean, other people don’t feel static-like vulvovaginal irritation when sitting down?
And a rock-hard pelvic floor at rest isn’t healthy? And “tight” isn’t good?
I didn’t know until I went in for a pelvic floor evaluation after a particularly gnarly UTI.
It turns out that the goal for me wasn’t to build up strength. It was to stretch, relax, and be mindful of my breathing — less like a brick wall and more like a supportive but bouncy trampoline.
“Go hard or go home” doesn’t apply here. When it comes to pelvic health, resilience, flexibility, and strength all synergize.
Kegels aren't the solution for everything and everyone
Kegels aren't the only pelvic floor exercise
UTIs, UTI-like symptoms, and pelvic floor dysfunction are related
Pelvic floor health is way more complicated than how strong your squeeze is
The Author || Cy (Super Smash Cache)
Cy has reviewed over 400 sex toys on her blog, Super Smash Cache, comparing them to bring readers the best fit for their bodies. Beautiful experiences and big, bold orgasms happen in so many ways; shoppers deserve the best that Toyland has to offer.
Beyond the toys, her pleasure pep talks start with integrating the mind, breath, and body — and knowing that you deserve to feel good and cared for. It’s the headspace from where you say “no” or “heck yes” — to life on your terms and to expanding ecstasy everywhere.
