Kiwi

I am losing my life to a pelvic contracture that’s beyond the scope of typical pelvic problems. I have been housebound and using an electric hoist-wheelchair for seven years because of my pelvic floor. My dad did something unforgivable to me when I was as an infant and consequently my anatomy didn’t develop normally, my pelvic floor is a third of the length of a typical adult woman’s. I was never once able to sit on my bottom my whole life. I started losing the ability to walk in my late teens. I suffered badly for 20 years, eventually discovering that I also have stage four rectal endometriosis and hEDS. I can’t use my wheelchair to leave the house because my pelvic floor hurts too much to tolerate the sensation of the ground under the wheels. I just go from the bed to the wheelchair. I’m in consciousness altering pain. I tried pelvic physiotherapy trans rectally for two years, and I learned to sit upright, on both bum-cheeks, in the wheelchair chair for the first time, but I tore my adductor group on both sides, developed bursitis in both hips and that was the end of my treatment possibilities, and also my hope of continuing my life.

This device gave me hope again. The first time I tried it for shallow penetration I experienced my first orgasm at 41. I just did what my pelvic therapist used to do to the trigger points but my body took over and my vagina started to react. I had thought clitoral orgasm was what everyone else was experiencing, but my vagina never moved…

I've been getting treated for pelvic floor concerns and likely endometriosis for over 8 years. Everytime my medical team offered a new "solution," or treatment I would feel even more defeated. I spend upwards of an hour every day trying to make myself feel better. Usually these things take time to prep, keep clean, do, and then put away which just makes it less and less likely I'll be able to follow through.

Kiwi has been a gift. I can lay with it first thing in the morning and start my day with less pain and minimal effort. If I need to use it again, it's easy enough to keep it charged and close by for a muscle release. It's also nice that FOR ONCE it doesn't feel like I'm performing medical experiments on myself or doing exercise, I'm just letting the Kiwi do its work.

I love having a treatment plan that addresses my pleasure. It's helping me heal my relationship with that part of my body in a way I never expected. Other treatments left me feeling alienated from my own anatomy, but now I feel like healing and pleasure can go hand in hand.

I getting choked up writing this, but I mean it. I'm so happy I invested in a Kiwi, and shout out to my Pelvic Floor PT for the discount code.

Next on my list is the Ohnut, which I'm already excited to try!